I'm Baaaaack

:-) And glad to be here. I really haven't gone anywhere for the past week, I've just taken the week to retreat inside myself. My stress level has been off the charts and the last thing I could handle was being chipper on my blog. If you don't have anything nice to say.... take a break from blogging.

I did post a couple of times about some of the stress but have recovered *mostly* and am back to my old self. I think with 2009 arriving a lot of things I had been hanging my hopes on had suddenly arrived. This month I was supposed to begin teaching nights at a college, my national board work has been kicked in to over drive, I was supposed to begin relaxation (HA!) and acupuncture for my fertility treatments and the kids at school were supposed to be ready to learn (they are ALWAYS ready in January). But so much of that has been put on the back burner for now.

DH (C) and I had a really serious talk this week and it finally has hit home for me. I need to stop committing myself so much. Next year I will not be beginning another graduate degree, I will not be taking on additional certifications or trainings. Next school year I will go to school and come home after my meetings. I will pick 1 or 2 committees I enjoy and feel are making a difference on the school and on children learning. If I am not pregnant in January of 2010 I will facilitate the drama club but as a rule I will leave school daily at 4:00pm.

These changes are for my mental, physical, and relationship health and I am totally on board this time. If I feel myself slipping and wandering towards taking on new initiatives as a way to combat my anxiety about trying to conceive I will talk with my husband and we can work on it together. We are a team and I know he won't let me struggle with the feelings of inadequacy alone.