Posts
My mother calls her hot tub "truth serum". That's because for some reason both she and I just seem to spill all of our secrets once inside. Each time I enter the warm bubbles, I do so with a renewed sense of strength that THIS time I won't let my mouth get me into trouble.... once again I was defeated.
Each Sunday we go to my parents' house for family dinner. They began this tradition about a year ago and it's really nice. DH and I go early and we play a couple hands of cards and then my sister and her husband come and we catch up. Tonight was no exception but I wanted to go in the hot tub.
DH doesn't really like the hot tub so it was no surprise that he declined but my mother volunteered. I was determined not to get myself into trouble and began our chat about her and what she's been up to. That was pretty good then she started asking me about all the different things I've been involved in this year and it popped out that I took on so much so I could avoid having to deal with my PCOS and infertility. She once again began the barrage of "but shouldn't you just keep trying? Is the doctor SURE you don't ovulate? What if you just relaxed??"
Now I love my mom but it took all of my self control to make it out of our hot tub session with my emotions in tact and a level head. I cried the whole way home and DH says he and I will talk about all things baby next Saturday. It's always NEXT Saturday. He is saying that maybe he does want to just keep trying even though he knows that our RE says I should try the Clomid this spring. He also brought up the potential for losing his job and my district is merging so there's no telling what could happen there. I am just beyond frustrated and upset about all of this. AUGHHHH Why can't my body just be NORMAL of ovulate every 28 days and then I can have a baby like a REGULAR woman. THIS is why I took on so much because I can't deal with the emotions and stress.
*Sorry for the vent*
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
HUGS!
I am not sure what to say. My thoughts are with you.
I so know that cry for your body to be normal. I have that same fight/yelling session with my own body every stupid month. I'm sorry you have to suffer it too.
I think people are really well intentioned when the recommend relaxing. I'm sure they have no idea how frustrating it is to hear from every other person. Kudos to you for keeping your emotions inline, I am still trying to master that...
ICLW
i really wish that it could be easy. :( i know the frusteration of a body that won't do what is supposed to come "naturally".
hang in there.
HUGS!! I'm sorry you were and are so frustrated. I hope you're feeling a bit better today.
*ICLW*
Let me cheer you up a bit....you have won!
Don't know what I am talking about? Check this out:
http://ovulationticker.blogspot.com/2009/01/along-came-t.html
You had submitted your guess for my photo show and tell, and you came out with the perfect answer! Cheers!
a) Don't be sorry for the vent. Your blog is your playground and you can do what you want!
b) Mothers are often not able to visualize anything wrong with their children. Also, it does need some amount of medical background for people to develop any understanding whatever for the problem we have. You will have to convice your mother, but don't bruise your heart so much. My mother who is a doctor took three years to really 'realize' that there may be some problem at my end.
Relax(not the way your mother said), but don't fret over the lack of understanding from your parents' side. She will possibly see it someday. But I want you to never lose hope, or the sight of your goal.
Take Care and have a beautiful day!
Post a Comment