Achy Breaky Heart

I am not into country music, but my heart feels as though it is breaking tonight. I go back to work tomorrow. I am beyond upset and have spent the better part of the evening crying. I took a bath just so I could cry without my husband hounding me about what's wrong and how can he help? He can't help. Unless I can stay home or have a job where Miss G comes with, I cannot be helped at this point.

The hardest part is that we will have to go through this twice. I am going back Monday and this week she will be staying with relatives. I then I have a week of vacation which I will get to spend with her, but then real daycare begins so we'll have to go through this separation again. I don't know what will be harder, leaving her with my family or with daycare. You'd think leaving her with family would be easier, but I am not so sure....

Seriously, it feels like my heart is breaking. She's asleep next to me right now and I can't stop stealing glances at her. She's so wonderful and perfect and we wanted her so much.... it feels wrong to be leaving her after all the praying we did to have her in our lives. I know I'll be fine after a while, but it feels like the "life scale" which has always been tipped towards work, is now completely on the family side. I know I will find balance at some point but for now... I don't want to! So don't tell my heart, my achy-breaky heart, I just don't think it'd understand (why I have to go back to work)!