All I want for my birthday is...

my ankles back!

Yes my ankles, which I've always thought were sexy, have disappeared somewhere between my foot and calf. It's very sad. They have gotten progressively worse since I've gone back to school and now they even hurt at night. It's very sad and distressing.

I have an appointment with my Dr. this week and my biggest fear is that she is going to tell me to slow down. I hear her, and I know I need to take care of myself and baby but the thing is... I don't want to lose my edge at school. I have always been the consummate professional, being on committees, staying late, coming early, working on my professional development. I know people at school understand that I am pregnant but I don't see why that should interfere with what I can do. As it is, my new boss has passed me over for opportunities I believe I was qualified for... conferences to attend, positions on committees...

If my doctor says the swelling is an issue then I will be forced to sit back and relax (let's just pray for no bed rest)... and that is simply not in my nature. I will do whatever is best for the baby's health and my own, but it is hard to see professional opportunities slipping away. Everyone says priorities will change once the baby comes... but right now I feel like I can still be an excellent teacher and professional and it sucks that other people are making the choice that my priorities are shifting and not myself.

So, all I want for my birthday (which was Friday) is my ankles back. So far it hasn't happened, but I keep hoping the cute ankle fairy will come back and bless me.