First of all it is still November

WHY DOES THE MALL LOOK LIKE A WINTER WONDERLAND?!

Yesterday the weather was icky so DH and I ventured out to the mall- just like everyone else in southern Maine. Holiday music playing in the background, Santa smiling with wailing babies, fake snow and Christmas trees in every window. I usually love the holidays but this season I feel more like a Scrooge than ever before.

Money is tight for everyone this year and I am feeling more pressure than ever to horde money due to the fact that DH and I are going to begin treatments for IF in the new year. Also I am feeling Scroogish because it seems like everyone at the mall has their happy family, walking around, smiling, waiting in line for pictures with Santa while I am asking which night is pet night to bring in my furbabies. Even the parents hauling screaming children out to the car make my uterus ache for one of my own. DH tries to make me feel better by smiling and saying how glad he is that it isn't us, but that's just one more reminder that my babymakers don't work quite right. I usually love the holidays, but this year I am not feeling it at all.... BAH HUMBUG!