Show and Tell 2

Show and Tell time again!

I love to knit. Today, DH had to go into work for a few hours, then FIL and DH went off to do some Christmas shopping leaving me to my own devices for the better part of the day.

Oh I have PLENTY of work I could be doing, in fact I *should* be typing up my response to Entry 2 for my NBPTS but instead I decided to take the day for me and to just knit...

I made the 2 hour scarf found on the Lion Brand website and I think it came our pretty good... and I did it- tassels and all in 3 hours! I am so inspired and motivated that my NBPTS will have to wait until tomorrow while I knit a matching hat for my mother for Christmas!

Free Time

Free time has made me smile all day. DH and I had NOTHING pressing to do all day so we sat around, watched some movies, read books, knitted (me), played Guitar Hero and then we finally ran out to the grocery store. It has been a relaxing, enjoyable day.

SERIOUSLY!!!!

With everything going on lately I have been really down. Today we went out to Black Friday to get a gift for MIL. We went to Best Buy at about 8:00- we are not into the 4am crowds although we did set the alarm for 3 but decided to turn it off.

So there we are going through the Best Buy flyer and notice that Guitar Hero is on sale- not only that, it comes with 2 guitar controllers for LESS than the game with 1 controller. Um we HAD to buy it! I have since spent 3 hours ROCKING out. Pictures to come tomorrow.

BUT SERIOUSLY- Guitar Hero is the MOST fun game I've played in loooooong time!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving- I know that I did. DH and I had to have two Thanksgiving dinners- one with his family and one with mine. We are talking about fixing this in the future. It's just where they each live about 5 minutes away it's tough to say no we can't make it to both.
One of my family's traditions is to tell what we are thankful for before we eat dinner. Here is my list for 2008...
My wonderful Husband and the support he's given me through the PCOS diagnosis
My puppies- Penelope and Bella who are my furbabies and keep me on my toes
My job- students and colleagues alike
Owning our own home
My Master's Degree
Our extended family and of course or friends.
Happy Thanksgiving!

Chance that maybe we'll find better days...

That Goo-Goo Dolls song was on the radio this morning on my way to work and I cried all the rest of the way to work....
Click Here if you want to see the video.
Something about the lyrics just got to me today and started my day off emotionally. That's all I want, the chance that maybe we'll find better days.... but sometimes it just doesn't feel like we will ever get there...
Last night DH held me around the middle and put his hands on my belly and announced how excited he was that we'd be pregnant in just another 5 months (April he thought) and although I know he was trying to be helpful and to make me feel positive but really, it just bummed me out even more. Maybe we will be pregnant in 5 months with the treatments, but maybe not too. I don't know.

"And you ask me what I want this year
And I try to make this kind and clear
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
Cuz I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
And desire and love and empty things
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days"

Show and Tell

This week I have decided to participate in Show and Tell...

With only 5 days until Thanksgiving you would think that turkeys would be making themselves as scarce as possible but not these guys...

This was the view from the front door of my union while I was at my National Board Workshop today. 5 of my colleagues and 2 turkeys viewed the video I am hoping to submit. My colleagues liked it and the turkeys gave it 2 gobbles!

BLAH

I hate my period...period. I remember being a little girl and wishing for it to come so I could be grown up. I remember being in my early teens and wondering why all my friends had their periods but not me... Now I HATE IT. Being uncomfortable and bloated once a month (thank to my RE keeping me on birth control until we are ready to actively treat PCOS and infertility).

Basically tonight I am feeling super blah, my emotions are running wild and all I want to do is curl up in bed with a good book but DH has other plans for us... why can't he make me do house stuff all the other days of the month?

Terrific Tuesdays

I wanted to come home and pity blog tonight. I had a super tough day at work and my real life was not much easier tonight but then I remembered- Terrific Tuesdays...

SO the reason today was terrific is because

• When my husband took me to the mall to cheer me up, someone asked me to jam with them on Rock Band!! I have long been an admirer of the game and would love to live my dream and be a rock star. I declined because I thought I'd mess up his gig but I was asked nonetheless and was really glad about it.
• Today is also terrific because my Washer and Dyer came home last night and RIGHT NOW I am doing my first load of laundry at MY own house!!

First of all it is still November

WHY DOES THE MALL LOOK LIKE A WINTER WONDERLAND?!

Yesterday the weather was icky so DH and I ventured out to the mall- just like everyone else in southern Maine. Holiday music playing in the background, Santa smiling with wailing babies, fake snow and Christmas trees in every window. I usually love the holidays but this season I feel more like a Scrooge than ever before.

Money is tight for everyone this year and I am feeling more pressure than ever to horde money due to the fact that DH and I are going to begin treatments for IF in the new year. Also I am feeling Scroogish because it seems like everyone at the mall has their happy family, walking around, smiling, waiting in line for pictures with Santa while I am asking which night is pet night to bring in my furbabies. Even the parents hauling screaming children out to the car make my uterus ache for one of my own. DH tries to make me feel better by smiling and saying how glad he is that it isn't us, but that's just one more reminder that my babymakers don't work quite right. I usually love the holidays, but this year I am not feeling it at all.... BAH HUMBUG!

Veteran's Day

DH left, Fred Right

Happy Veteran's Day and THANK YOU to all the veterans out there. We would not have all the opportunities we have today if not for those who fought for our rights and our country.

I am sad to say that growing up Veteran's Day was little more than a day off to me. Sure I heard about the Gulf War but I had no schema for that sort of thing and I never really thought about it. I didn't know anyone who was directly involved so I just enjoyed having a day off each November. Then I met Fred...

Fred is my husband's best friend. For the first 6 months we dated I was sure that Fred was a figment of DH's imagination. I hadn't met Fred, heard from Fred, seen a picture of him or had any evidence that he existed except for the stories DH told. Considering those stories it's a wonder I ever did meet Fred! For the first 6 months of our relationship Fred was in Iraq on his second tour of duty.

I met Fred once on a trip home and he was friendly and welcomed me into the family with open arms, but he was back overseas in a matter of days. I remember one Saturday I was home cleaning my apartment and the phone rang- it was Fred from Iraq. I shouted through the entire conversation convinced that he couldn't hear me and the time delay totally messed me up but he had gotted DH's e-mail that we were engaged and he promised to be home in time for the wedding which was good because DH said there was no way we could get married unless Fred was the best man.

Fred has now been home about 14 months and in that time I have gotten to know him and love him like a brother. He is now one of my best friends too. Fred is planning to return to Iraq in 2010 for his third tour of duty. Fred is the first veteran I have known so well. Bless his heart, he listens patiently to all my questions about the war and will answer them to the best of his ability. We may not always agree on his answers but I have learned from Fred that it takes a really special person to serve their country. Our soilders and veterans have a belief in this country and in what is right that does not waiver. I can't imagine where we would be today with out people like him.

Fred has made my life better by being a part of it, and I know that he and thousands of others like him have made all of our lives better.
Thank you for serving our country.

Perfect Weekend

We really had the perfect weekend this weekend. NOTHING to do except Sunday night dinner with my family. Friday night I read a book and DH caught up on the DVR. Saturday, lazing around the house then a hockey game that night- GO PIRATES! They scored 5 goals so we got free fries!! Today we ran errands this morning, bumped into FIL and got to spend some time with him, then a quick afternoon pick me up nap and dinner with my parents, sister, BIL, GM, and aunt. Now back home to just relax. What a nice weekend we had! :-)

Husband of the year

My DH is a candidate for husband of the year... let me tell you what he did for me last night...

• He accompanied me to the PCOS workshop at our local hospital. He was the only man there.
• While there anytime I got too overwhelmed to ask a question he held my hand and asked it for me.
• He listened to a woman of advanced age describe her vaginal discharge both in looks and smell.
• AND he did it all with a supportive smile upon his face.
• As we walked out together he didn't even complain at all he just held my hand and asked me if I was ok.

(once we got home and he knew I was fine emotionally that's when he informed me just how much I owe him)
AMAZING!!!!!!! I could not have asked for a better husband.

PCOS- One more step

This summer I was diagnosed with PCOS or Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome. I met with both my doctor, a reproductive endocrinologist and a nutritionist to help get me on the path to baby making! Tonight though DH and I are attending a class called PCOS- What next? And it is supposed to go over all the implications PCOS will have on our lives.

I am lucky- I have what my doctor calls a "mild" case. He believes with hormone therapy I should be able to get pregnant inside of a year, but PCOS has implications for the rest of my life such as insulin resistance, weight gain possibilities, ovarian cysts, annovulation and more. Although DH and I have been learning through books, articles and the internet, it will be nice to talk with other women going through this and to talk with my RE and ask all the questions that occured to me AFTER the appointment.

I am hopeful that we will learn a lot tonight- DH is worried that the evening will end in tears. Well I doubt this meeting will be more upsetting than my school workshop yesterday. When I feel stronger I will share that with you...

Election Day

I just love voting. It makes me feel like I am really doing a service to our nation. I always leave the polls with my head held high, and a smile on my face. Today was no exception. The only thing I am bumming about is my local channels have not begun predictions yet. I am interested in the national election but I am also interested in the local election- I am a teacher and my district is voting on consolidation with another school system.

Did YOU do your patriotic duty today?

IF and Marriage

When I was diagnosed with PCOS and my doctor told me it was the leading cause of infertility in women my age, I was devastated. My world really felt like it was ending and I didn't know what to do. When I told my husband all that I had learned in my 6 hours of Google searching, he was great. I told him that PCOS could mean never having children. I also offered him the opportunity to end our marriage with no guilt....

That guy! You wouldn't even believe it. He took me into his arms and told me nothing would ever make him leave me. That he would be as happy with our family of just fur babies as he would be with a family of real babies. Although I did not believe him 100% I was reassured at the time.

I have been studying about PCOS, talking with my doctor and my RE and DH has been with me each and every step of the way. The thing that I thought had the potential to end our marriage has only made it stronger. I know as crazy as I may get on the hormone treatments or as tearful as I may get each time I get a BFN, he will be there to hold my hand and assure me that he loves me and we will be a family even if it is just the two of us.