1 year ago today...

(Pregnancy mentioned)

What a different place I was in then. I had to take the day off from my summer job to go and see the RE for the first time. What a wreck I was at that appointment. They weighed me and it was 30 pounds off so that's when the tears began. DH couldn't believe I was blubbering over my weight but I felt so out of control of my body at that point and my weight was something I *thought* I had a handle on. (In regards to my weight, I just passed the weight I was a year ago when I was my heaviest (without the added 30lbs) and now I have a little Goober growing so I thought that was pretty good at 23 weeks!)

Man what a day that was. I went through the emotional wringer for sure but I couldn't have asked for better guides. My RE was SUPER. He got paged twice while in with me and just turned off his beeper and focused on my myriad of questions and concerns. DH held my hand the whole time and assured me we'd get through this. Pregnancy seemed like a lost dream at that point in my life, and here I am, 1 week from the baby getting to the point of viability. It just seems like so much has happened in this year.

When I realized the date today I had a small meltdown. Then I thought to myself, it's all working out, why get upset, each minute, day, week, that goes by, this baby is getting bigger and stronger, and harryier (the heartburn is a killer). I finally let DH purchase a stroller. This was our first major baby purchase and it felt so nice to receive it, but scary at the same time. I do keep waiting for this dream to come to an end... I am working on the fact that it's OK to think that everything will turn out right and it's OK to think that the mean doctors (who I quit) were wrong, and that I will be able to carry this baby to term and give it a wonderful, healthy and happy life.

What a difference a year makes.