Great News! And Some Scary Days....

Great News!

On Thursday DH got a job! The day after he was laid off the owner of this company called him and asked him if he'd be interested in working for them. DH said he'd think about it and Thursday we went up there and he made DH an offer he couldn't refuse. What a relief for us to have him back to work (he starts Monday). Also he was offered a raise of a few thousand dollars and some great perks!! He was so psyched he was calling all our family to say he got a raise of $6000+ and I did the math.... over the unemployment he would have collected, it was a raise of $30,000+ He was even happier when he learned that! :-)

Scary News...

That same night we were really excited and were celebrating with carrot cake. DH fed DD a bottle whilst I pumped and DD fell asleep in his arms. He held her about 45 minutes after feeding her then passed her to me to get her dressed for bed. I got her dressed, picked her up for a snuggle and she stopped breathing. She got really rigid and turned bright red. I flipped her over and started hitting her on the back. It took about 5 seconds (which was an eternity) but mucus and milk came out her nose and mouth. She started to gasp for air and finally got her lungs full and let out an ear splitting scream. I was of course upset and we immediately packed her up and headed to the hospital. The hospital diagnosed her with Reflux and asked us to talk with our Pedi (which we had before about her reflux and the pedi didn't want to do anything about it). Home from the hospital around 3am, I didn't sleep at all that night watching her. What if she spit up again while sleeping and couldn't clear her throat then?? Seriously, what if we'd been sleeping.

I said to DH on the way home from the ER that "Miss G was just reminding us to appreciate her." He broke down in tears and replied "we appreciate her so much, she's our miracle baby. We were not supposed to have children.... we will never take her for granted."

Last night was another sleepless night watching her.... we're going to a specialist soon and she's now on baby Zantac. hopefully some more nights of sleeping and breathing will help me relax and get the rest I need... especially since DH begins work Monday and I go back in 2 weeks.

2 Month Shots

They are horrible. I do not use that word lightly, horrible. I cannot imagine anything worse. No I am sure that there are worse things that some children go through but thus far in my 9 week old baby's life that was the worst. She even had her tongue clipped in the hospital and that wasn't as bad as her two month vaccines.

Now I personally have a fear of needles and I knew the shots would be tough on me so I brought DH along. I was doing great at first and held the baby for her first shot and it was all going well, until she got stuck and SCREAMED. I don't mean cried, I don't mean wailed, I mean SCREAMED. You'd have thought someone was trying to murder her and for all she knew, the nurse was. I am sure I looked in shock because the nurse told me to pick her up. I stood there talking to my inconsolable baby for a few minutes until my husband took her away from me and laid her down for the next two shots.

We all survived, but it was close there for a minute (even DH looked shell shocked when it was done). I know she needs these shots, but man it was horrible. No shots though for 2 months... I've already told DH there is no option, he's coming with!

Bittersweet at 8 weeks...

This has been the toughest "birthday" for me yet. I've been dreading the 8 week mark not for a growth spurt, not because it puts me closer to going back to work.... no I was dreading the 8 week mark because to me it means she's all grown up.

Yes, I know that sounds slightly crazy but let me explain. When I was a child (yes a child) I always loved kids. I was THE babysitter in the neighborhood, taking the Red Cross babysitting course, starting out at age 9 as a mother's helper then 10 as a "real" babysitter. When I was 11 my neighbor had a baby boy. I had already babysat many times for her 4 year old daughter and I could not wait to get my hands on that baby!! Well they promised me when he turned 8 weeks old, I could take care of him. True to their word, when he was 8 weeks old, they went out to dinner and left myself and one of my friends in charge of the 8 week old baby and his sister.... Now my own baby is 8 weeks old and I CANNOT imagine leaving her with anyone besides my husband or one of our parents, let alone an 11 year old child.

So this morning at G's 4am feeding I cried for her being all grown up. I know she's still my little baby, but this was a big milestone for me.

G celebrated 8 weeks with her own milestone today- she rolled over front to back during tummy time! She was so excited she promptly threw up all over the couch. She's now sleeping off the excitement. I can't wait for her to wake up and roll over again. Here we go, step one in being mobile!

Just when things were going great....

2010 started off so much better than 2009. We were hopeful, our family felt complete, everything seemed to be going fine.... until DH came home last night. He was laid off. Yes, this will be a financial hit to us, I can pay most of the bills on my own but there are some loans he had before we were together that I cannot take care of, but more importantly it's a hit to our morale. It seems like we cannot get everything in our lives working great all at the same time.

He has already begun looking for something new, and this will save us having a daycare bill temporarily, but still, it will be tough. I have 3 1/2 more weeks of paid leave left and I will head back to work as soon as it runs out. I never imagined him being a stay at home dad (especially since I had to really work on him being a dad in the first place) but he's psyched about it and day one, he has taken over quite a bit of baby G's care. It will make my transition back to work easier I hope.... Well a bummer of a day, but hopefully things will begin to turn around soon.... they usually do for us, I just hope it doesn't take too long this time.

New Year's Goal #2

To do less, better at work. I have used work as an escape in the past. I've always (well with the exception of my first year) felt incredibly in control of my professional life and have always done as much as I can physically (if not always mentally) handle. Taking multiple classes, teaching at the college level, signing up for extra committees, working on curriculum, and serving as a mentor for both current and pre-service teachers. And I've done well with all those things, but I've been unable to throw all of me into all of those things.... for obvious reasons- there's only so much time and energy.

So my new year's goal #2 is to focus on a couple things that are really important to me, and to do those well. Quality, not quantity. I will continue being my grade span rep for the ELA committee, I will continue to help current and preservice teachers, and I will continue to be an active part of our PLC team(s). I will also make a commitment to be out of school by 4:00 at the latest at least 3 days a week. (By 3:30 on Fridays). My priorities have shifted in a big way now and I will no longer use school as my escape. I have everything I could ever want here at home, and I intend to enjoy my husband and daughter as much as I can. They are far more important in the long run than any committee I will ever serve on.

New Year's Goal #1

Last Wednesday was 6 weeks for Miss G so time for my 6 week post-partum check. I was nervous... who likes going to the doctor for an internal and to be weighed... not me but it had to be done. DH refused to be intimate (and it had already been since my birthday at the beginning of October!!) until we got the all clear from the doc due to my episiotomy and the stitches. First of all, baby G was an ANGEL during the appointment.... didn't even make a peep. That girl comes through when you really need her.

The good news is that everything was healing great and I was cleared to be off pelvic rest and back to my normal activities. Also the other good news was that I have lost all but 7lbs of the baby weight!! Honestly, I'd have been happy with having lost half especially with all the treats I had over the holidays but nope, 32lbs down 7 to go!! But I am not stopping there... I'd like to be about 10 lbs less than my pp weight and I figure if I keep nursing her and start to eat sensibly (read less holiday cookies and egg nog) then it should be a breeze!! Poor DH, once I got cleared for exercise he and I were going to have a biggest looser competition between the two of us, but it looks like I got more of a head start than either of us were thinking!

SO If I lost 32 lbs in 6 weeks... I am hoping that in 6 more I can be at least halfway to my new goal... so 9 more lbs. That's when I have to go back to work and that would feel AWESOME! New Year's Goal #1!